Been awhile

But I can’t seem to phantom how I feel right now. Like seriously. This feeling just comes out of nowhere. Out of sight out of mind. I feel like I need some cleansing. Some Sunday service or something. Like really. My mind is blowing 300 miles per hour. I can’t seem to get the words that are floating through my mind out of my mouth to explain how I really feel. I’ve always felt this way, just another face but different time, same feeling nonetheless. Same exact fucking feeling. What can I do? I cannot help it, God knows I cannot help it. I wish I could. I wish there were just one thing I could do to just STOP. STOP the world from spinning. Stop the madness. Stop everything to just breathe. Life is moving in a whirlwind of craziness. Where did it all go? The meaning of it all? Happiness.What is happiness and where is it truly coming from? Take away all the money, the materialistic things, go down to the core, and look for it. Is it still there? Has it always been there or just now? Just for the moment? I know, this sounds confusing, but trust me. If I could explain how I felt, I wouldn’t want pity, I would want good vibes from the right people, not the just for the moment people. Forget what people think and get down to the gritty. What is it I am feeling? Well the same damn feeling I have felt for every guy I have ever dated and cared about. Different face, different time, same me, same feeling. Will it ever go away? Hopefully, with time or with something else. *Sigh*

  1. fyeaanathasianadine posted this