Love my family, friends
San Francisco State University
I swear my life should be on tv
There’s just no need for you to settle for less than what you want right now — unless you’re exhausted. There are more choices out there than you’ve seen yet, so take another look if you want.
DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WHAT I WANT RIGHT NOW. I need to tape this across my face so I don’t forget. Why are horoscopes on point? Like every time. Thanks for the reminder because I have been wanting to text my ex for awhile now and that one Filipino/Fiji dude. I need to remember to STAY FAITHFUL OR STAY SINGLE…. But shit I swear every time I try to break up with RRRR he will not allow me to. He cries, and begs that we can work things out…. UGHHHHHH. WTF is wrong with me? I’m unhappy, I need to end things asap. It’s time to speak up.
A lot of new people have been popping into your group of friends lately, and you should make room for each and every one of them. If you start to fear that one of these newcomers is taking your place in a cherished relationship, relax. This person can’t hold a candle to you, and even if they are trying hard to move into your territory, there is no chance they will succeed. You are secure in what you’ve built with this other friend, and have absolutely nothing to worry about. Believe it.
Good, because for whatever reason I cannot stop thinking about this dude. WTF
Nobody is really on Tumblr anymore so this is where I tend to vent out and just say what I need to say, without any filters. So lets begin. Last night…..
It was my cousins 18th birthday so I go there around 6ish, but it started around 2. So this cousin is from my step dads side, so I barely go to these family functions unless my mom and dad and brother are there as well. Since I don’t live with my parents anymore I came with my other cousin and when we got there I immediately felt out of place. My cousin said hi to like damn near everyone and I just said hi to those I knew and smiled at everyone else. :) So we eat, of course, and then eventually make our way downstairs where all the younger people are. All the 50+ people were upstairs. We refer to them as the senior citizens. Lol…
So we go downstairs and since we were late a lot of the people left and there were just a couple of my cousins older brothers friends and our other girl cousins. Long story short, we drink heem, tequila, hella beers, and we hit the hookah. Once we started hitting the hookah I knew off tops this one dude was feelin me. I would hit it and he would put his face hella close to mines so I could blow my smoke into his mouth. I was feelin dude too, he was cute, mixed with Filipino, Fiji, and hella other shit (I forgot) and he kept getting me beers, pouring me shots. It was cute, you know how it is when you first meet someone. So everyones in the garage and he takes me outside in the backyard to take some shots with him. I go out and he tells me about himself, and asks me if I had a bf which I pointed at my beer and said thats my bf for the night. He then tells me that he has a 7 year old son and works at his moms carehome as an lvm (not certified though.. his words.) So all of a sudden he hugs me and starts trying to kiss me. I look at him and kiss him. I know I know….. Save your opinion for someone who cares =P So mind you this happens outside, nobody knows yet…. So around 11ish we decided to go to a bar. And we drive downtown..
We drive 2 cars, 4 girls in one, and 4 dudes in the other. Two of the girls are my cousin, the other is my cousins cousin. In the car one of them is my cousins brother (half so we arent really related) and the 3 friends. As we drive downtown my cousins tell me that dude is a fucking scrub. Like real talk. He didnt finish college, is working for his moms carehome, he just goes to the gym all the time, hella lazy, doesnt really do anything, and has a 7 year old son (which he already told me.) We park go out and talk about where we’re gonna go next. That’s when dude come up to me and starts pulling my bag to come up to him. He has his arm around me and everyone looks. Like damn everyone was staring like WTF? Lol it was kind of funny. So we decide to go to Yancys on 9th and Irving. Before we get back into our cars dude hella kisses me and hugs me. Not feelin it anymore..
So we get to the bar, and everyone wants me to sit next to him but I am not feelin him anymore. Like come on dude is a scrub, I’ve been with too many scrubs and know how they act and treat their women. So we go to the bathroom and I keep tellin them I am not trinna talk to him like at all. So I buy myself a beer and sit down next to my cousins and he sits across from the table from me. Lol. Everyones trinna get me to sit next to him and I’m like no I’m okay. So my cousins brother asks him to buy everyone a shot and he gives him $40 dollars. That’s when I was like, damn, he really is a scrub. Like he could of offered to pay for it but didnt. So he asks me if I want a drink and I told him no because I already bought myself a beer. And in my head I was thinking, really you offer to buy me a drink with my own cousins money? No. I can buy it myself. So people go out to smoke and he asks me to stand up and talk to him. I’m like ughhh omg dude is forreal feelin me. He asked me why I wasn’t talking to him, and why I was acting weird and I just tried to play it off. I told him I wasn’t and I was just chllen. Then he starts hugging me and kissing my cheek and lips, and in my head I’m like noooooo. Hahaha. So I can tell he was really feeling me because he was telling me his life story and asking me about mines. Finally the place is closing and we all go out and they smoke,
This is where he grabs me and keeps me warm and asks me for my number, and that’s when I asked for his instead. He gives me his number and he kisses me and we call it a night…
Now do not get me wrong. It’s not that I just want a dude that got money, but I want a dude with ambition. Like I have dated so many scrubs that I basically took care of, I’m good off that. I do not need a man to take care of me, just to take care of himself. Anyways. I swear I always have these type of stories…. Ugh fml.
For making me feel like a fat insecure ugly bitch. How are you my BF again?????????????
What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Ask yourself that question in all kinds of situations, from your relationship to work and beyond. You’ll start identifying your true desires — and acting on them.
It is time for you to get serious — with your mate, with a business associate or even with yourself. In one way or another, you need to face the truth about your values, so get to work and see what happens!
Spot fucking on.
Who the fuck do you think you are???
I bought that fucking tv, I bought the bed, I fucking cook you dinner, I pick you up from work, like wtf. I do hella shit for you and you are so fucking ungrateful. FUCK YOU. Like I wish I had the strength to just end it. Why does this have to be so fucking difficult? I deserve better, I know I do, everyone tells me I do. So why do I stay with a fucking low life like you? You need me, I do not need you.
Right when we got home I fucking cook you food, the way you want it (2 whole eggs 3 egg whites, steak, brown rice, and broccoli.) And thats just for tomorrow, I cook you dinner too. And to top it all off, I WAS THE ONE THAT FUCKING BOUGHT ALL THE GROCERIES. So what you just got out of work? Like I fucking cook for you every single day. EVERY DAY. You never cook for me, which has caused me to be 3 minutes late in submitting my brevia revision!!!!
Honestly, I don’t know why I stay. Yes you do make me happy, sometimes. Sometimes. But I know damn well I do not want to be with you in the long run, so why do I fucking stay??? AHHHHHHHH. I want to scream at the top of my lungs!!!!
Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit. Forreal. Aint nobody trinna take care of a fucking baby. I don’t give a fuck about what you think or what you finna say, cause bitch you aint finna say shit to my fucking face, Fuck you scary ass bitch, I will pop you in your fucking face. Best believe. Say something to me, I wish you fuckng would.
Everything happens for a reason, and God has his path for me. I go through struggles to become a stronger person. God puts these tough times in front of me because he knows I can handle it. I just need to cry it all out. I hate this.
I get mad, then happy, then angry, then sad, why can’t things ever stay constant? Things always get good, then get sour all over again.